Pretty much everyone knows the story of Pandora’s Box and how Hope was trapped inside.
Many couples have been trapped in a dead marriage hoping that one day things will improve by themselves. Imagine they still continued to believe in hope, but actually took the initiative to do something about it. Because hope alone cannot help.
For example: A stagnant relationship is reminiscent of a lake that has no way to renew its water. Time passes and it still stays stagnant because you learn to live with this unhealthily situation without thinking, that at some point it will cause various diseases. And let’s not forget, that waking up every day to an ugly view in front of you, makes you wish that one day someone will come along and clean the water.
I always have a tendency to observe couples when I out go out and I am able to observe the ones that remind me of a stagnant lake. The body language clearly shows that they have developed toward each other, certain unhealthy and mixed negative feelings. Just like diseases. Such as anxiety, boredom, hostility, indifference, bitterness, anger & frustration.
The one thing that puzzles me is why they bother going out when they hardly talk to each other. Perhaps to kill time? And maybe fear of the idea that if they stay in, they will have to spend another lonely night with each other.
When I happen to see a couple who seems happy, three things may be possible. That they really have found the recipe for a happy marriage/relationship. Or they are having an illicit relationship with each other. Or that they are still on the honey-moon period.
A few years ago I was sitting at a trendy cafe in Geneva and I noticed something that felt unreal to me. Many couples of a certain age were holding hands, laughing and looking to each other’s eyes with real love. Honestly, I think it was the last time I saw this kind of harmony and unity among couples. Since then, I bring it as an example to couples who happen to have problems with each other. And the question they put to me is, what needs to be done to reach not only to this point, but also to get to an old age together. I reply that it’s pretty simple.
Have lots of Hope, eliminate bad habits, be intimate about everything, make a goal for each day (even something small), don’t have unrealistic demands or expectations for each other, praise each other, and grow your spiritual side. The rest will fall into place.